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Jul. 13th, 2009 | 10:47 pm
mood: draineddrained

As darkness engulfs him, he slowly succumbs to the inviting slumber offered to him through cold, bony hands. He's had enough of the storm. Enough of the constant battle against the gale that keeps blowing him back two steps for every one that he took. Enough of fighting against the rain, soaking through whatever he puts on and keeping him cold. Enough of braving the thunders and the lightnings which constantly creates shadows of monsters in the dark. He's had enough, and maybe it was time to give in. For the boat in which he's put his life in is being tossed about, directionless and without the end in sight. In the end, any kind of slumber would be better then no sleep at all, even if it is in the hands of death.

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Jul. 8th, 2009 | 01:03 am
mood: angryangry

If you think you can just say stupid things and get away with it, you're wrong! I'll tear your life apart if I ever found out who you are. I refuse to live in misery anymore.

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Just when I wanted to...

Jul. 7th, 2009 | 12:02 am

Something is wrong with livejournal. I cant type with rich text and html is no fun.

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Jul. 1st, 2009 | 12:23 am
mood: contemplativecontemplative

I wish I knew the future

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The Wish

Nov. 18th, 2008 | 12:36 am

Sometimes I wish that love mattered. Only love. And nothing else would ever trump that.

Sadly, thats not the case most of the time. Sadly, we humans place more importance in things like religion and respect. Sadly, things like 'face' and dignity and honor comes way above love. And love is shoved in a corner, alone and forgotten.

I want to make my mum understand that what I have with him is just plain and simple love. Just as she fell in love with dad, so too do I want to fall in love with the man that's made for me. But I'm tired of all the fights - the yelling and the screaming. Even the tears. But worst of all, I'm tired of fighting against God.

To be honest, how can I ever win if ultimately God is brought into the picture? No matter how I try to see in another perspective, the Word is clear. And what I share with him is...forbidden.

Ever since I embarked on this journey, every step has been stony and uneven. The road I choose never gave one a moment's rest. And I'm so tired.

I have a dream. A dream that one day mum, dad, me and him could go to church together. A dream where I could freely worship without being discriminated. That we could have dinner at home and laugh at jokes, to talk about things that happened during the day and share our thoughts and opinions. And then gather round the tele for a movie...as a family. That Christmas would be a joyous occasion with everyone gathered round the tree and opening their presents.

Instead, all we have now are superficial banter about useless things. Safe things. Things that stay away from topics of relationships, marriage or family. And then there's the secretivity of trips and the when/what-time-are-you-coming-back's. I mean for fucks sake just say when you're leaving for your trip and when r u coming back! You think I'll only do 'wrong' things when you're gone?!

So if I could get one wish this Christmas to come true, I wish for love and all that love brings. Because God knows this world needs so much more then what we have of it right now. I wish that angels hear the cry of a boy and brings this simple request to the foot of the One that created heaven and earth. And then maybe, just maybe, this Christmas would be the best one ever.

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Oct. 13th, 2008 | 11:26 pm
location: home
mood: annoyedannoyed

You spend 700 bucks in Australia on shopping alone and all I got was a tshirt, keychain and a star?!?!?!


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Of Birthdays And Orange

Oct. 5th, 2008 | 09:55 pm
mood: happyhappy

So we celebrated one of my bestest girlfriends birthday last week and it was fun.


First gathering was at LEO's where they serve the most amazing gelattos and rice buckets. Seriously, just cant get enough of them...yum yum. Initially J n I wanted to go there for a quick bite then head to secret recipe to buy EN's cake for later but A n EN had to be called to the rescue because we spotted my dad having a drink with his friend there as well.

OMG! Since when does my dad knows how to go to a place like LEO's?!?!

Later we went for dinner at Wendy's. This was also another amazing place. I kept asking A what do they serve there and his answer was just 'PORK!'.

Like wtf?!

However I understood why there was no other words to describe the place except the word pork la. I swear a night at Wendy's I will never touch pork ever again! Ok maybe a year la...ok maybe for few weeks....at least!  :)

What we had that night

Mix Platter

Pork Belly

Pork Ribs

Pork Chop

Mix Sausage Platter

I was so relieved that my pork chop wasnt as crazy ass humongous as the rest and though my diet was safe. Silly me! I ended up not only finishing my pork chop but had 2 additional belly and a rack of ribs, not to mention the sausage platter that we shared as well. Torture isnt pain, its eating till you puke!

Anyway we went back to EN's place to continue the party and also finish off with the cake cutting ceremony. I am totally in love with SR's Classic Cheesecake! It is the BOMB!! Despite having a belly of a 3 month pregnant woman, I somehow managed to fit in 2 slices of that yummylicios cheese cake. This is gonna cost me a whole month of cardio :S

Of course once Chien n bf arrived, the evening never ends without the customary mahjong session. Even J is getting into the game now after hours of sitting sidelined. And judging from his performance that night, I say he is pretty damn luck! Secretly I was thinking of ways to replace my arms with his as he kept drawing good tiles. Jealous!!


On another note, we went to Orange yesterday. I dont know if it is the age factor but clubbing nowadays always ends up disappointing. Music was terrible and I didnt manage to get into the mood at all, despite our pre-party drinking on the way there.

And I was so looking forward to a fantastic night!

Maybe its just time to stop.


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On The Brink

Oct. 2nd, 2008 | 01:52 am
mood: coldcold

Your image in my eyes arent very good. I only wish you'll stop doing some of the things you do.

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Sep. 29th, 2008 | 11:11 pm
location: home
mood: melancholymelancholy
music: Boys Like Girls - Holiday

Starting a new blog is always like getting your virginity back. You know that its gone but nobody else does. Of course there's always evidence of the past - a used rubber, a page history. But as long as the veil of secrecy is not torn, nobody ever knows the absolute truth.

The way I see it if live is made out of chapters, what better way to record them then a new site every time a chapter ends. The only regret I have is that a part of my journey was deleted in a haste of emotions. Oh what I would give to get them back! I guess its one of those regrets one usually has in life, and those memories will just have to be what they are...memories. Perhaps its for the best. After all, I think that chapter told of a pretty dark past. However, in the midst of all that turmoil was the most exhilarating, most amazing ride I'd ever took...and truth be told I'd do it all over again!

This time its all about me. I've had enough of giving, and now its time to focus inward. To do things what will empower me, to allow me to grow and discover myself. Its not so much being selfish, but someone wise once said that to discover the world is to explore, and in exploring to arrive back at the beginning and to know the place for the first time. I think its time I find my place in this world and in doing so, I hope to finally find the peace and harmony that I am constantly seeking.
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